Where Have All The Flower Children Gone?/Transcript
Mission alert after completing Furon Loathing In Bay City Orthopox: Brains! Those Soviets are going to be a bigger headache than I thought. Crypto, come see me when you're finished... whatever it is you're doing! I may have a plan. Before starting mission Crypto: Geez, Pox, my head's still spinning... What the hell is going on around here? Why are these Russkies gunning for us? Orthopox: Frankly, I'm more concerned about how the KGB successfully managed to pull such a twin strike. They're not usually so organized. We need to find them, Crypto, before they spring any more surprises. Accuse hippies of helping KGB Crypto: I should've known. The drugs, the alcohol, the loose chicks. The signs, they were all there! It's obvious those hippies were trying to lure me in so I'd let my guard down. Nice try, hippies! But i'm not just any mindless hedonist, I'm the best! Vow to Wipe out the Hippies Ask about finding the KGB Crypto: OK, so what? I just start knocking on doors and doing the slice-and-dice? Orthopox: You do not! The KGB are hardly likely to hang around if you just start indiscriminately blowing away humans. Crypto: Yeah, well, I was just brainstorming. Orthopox: Well stop. I done a little research in the criminal files of the local constabulary. Apparently there's one informant in Bay City who always knows what's going down on the streets. They call him The Freak. Talk About The Freak Crypto: The Freak, huh? Yeah, I heard about him. Cat's got connections all over town. He's kind of a burnout though - From what I hear, he doesn't even need drugs anymore. He lives in his own, personal, mental lava lamp. But if any of those stinky monkeys know what the KGB is up to, I bet he does. Orthopox: And I suggest you locate him and find out what he knows. Recap mission goals Start mission Crypto: Alright, enough chit-chat! I'm off to find our little hippie friend The Freak. Orthopox: Excellent! I'll be continuing my repairs on the saucer. And then... I don't know. Order a virtual pizza or something. Brains, I hate this. Scan clues for finding The Freak Businesswoman: When I walked by the park earlier, I heard a bunch of girls giggling about "The Freak"... wonder how freaky he actually is... (laughs) Female Hippie: This is the way to live, man - Living in the park, sleeping off the land, taking what you need, giving what you can - Man, I want a pizza, and I don't mean any of that soy cheese crap! Male Hippie: The Freak is supplying the whole damn commune at the park. And yet he still can't get any action... what a loser. Wonder where The Freak went? Probably up on the hill doing his "mountaintop hermit" routine. Weirdo... Ambient NPC Conversations Conservation #1 (near Crypto's default Landing Zone in Hashbury, behind a minivan and a trash can) Female Hippie: Marches for peace, marches for choice, marches on the Dean's office, marches on the Capitol, marches, marches, marches! [I'm sick of marching! It's SO 1964! White Male Hippie: I thought non-violent protests was the essence of the counterculture! Female Hippie: That's the problem! You think corporate America loses sleep over a few thousand people clogging up the road for a couple of hours to sing "If I Had A Hammer"! Hell, the shoe companies could probably give us free poster board! White Male Hippie: I think you're being a little dismissive. Female Hippie: Dismissive? Marching takes no commitment whatsoever! Any idiot could march! Now getting arrested, that's a sacrifice! African-American Hippie: Gettin' arrested? Now what does that accomplish? Female Hippie: Clog up the system, man. Throw a wrench at the bureaucratic machine! Then they can't ignore us! White Male Hippie: I don't know, man. A police record? That doesn't look too good of a job application... Female Hippie: Oh, give me a break... White Male Hippie: I'm serious. Female Hippie: No, Nelson Mandela is serious, YOU'RE a dilettante! Look, you think the weathermen care if they get arrested? YOU think Eldridge Cleaver sits around worrying about doing time? White Male Hippie: Eldridge Cleaver is doing time! Female Hippie: Exactly! White Male Hippie: I don't know what you're so angry about! Female Hippie: I'll tell you what I'm so angry about; even in the counterculture, it's the same old song and dance, the men just wanna get high and laid, and the women end up having to CARRY YOUR ASSES! I have to chant twice as loud and twice as committed to the cult just to get the man to notice me, and then some stoner like you swoops in front of the TV cameras and then takes all the credit! White Male Hippie: This is about Abbie Hoffmann dumping you, isn't it? Female Hippie: No it is not! And I resent your attempt to march and tantalize me for suggesting such a thing! White Male Hippie: OK, OK! I'm sorry! Female Hippie: You should be! Still can't believe you went back to Anita! White Male Hippie: Look, don't get me wrong, but I think it's great you're so committed! Female Hippie: Thank you! White Male Hippie: Like, the whole bra-burning thing, beautiful statement! I am totally behind that! Female Hippie: Excuse me? White Male Hippie: You gals go ahead and burn all your clothes? I absolutely support your right to do so one-hundred-percent! Female Hippie: Unbelievable! African-American Hippie: What's happenin'? Female Hippie: What's happening!? THIS JERK DOESN'T RESPECT ME AS A WOMAN OR AS A REVOLUTIONARY! HE JUST WANTS TO GET IN MY PANTS! THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING! African-American Hippie: Damn, that's cold... Female Hippie: You hear that, jerk!? He gets it! Nobody sacrifices more in this struggle than the Negroes! African-American Hippie: Blacks. Female Hippie: They changed it again? God damn it, well anyway, I think we can all agree that's there no room in this movement for stoner horn-dogs with no convictions! You seriously need to re-evaluate your commitment to real social political change! African-American Hippie: Oh yeah! Umm... OK. Female Hippie: You know who Eldridge Cleaver is, right? African-American Hippie: Um, sure. Female Hippie: You know any Hendrix? African-American Hippie: Oh, you know it! Female Hippie: Any "Holding"? African-American Hippie: I can dig some up! Female Hippie: Right on! Let's go! African-American Hippie: Right on, brotha! White Male Hippie: Maybe I should grow dreads... Category:Mission Transcripts Category:Destroy All Humans! 2 Category:Bay City Missions Category:Storyline Missions